I bill myself out as a Memorialist. I don’t know (or care) if that is a real thing. Why? Well I am real and I really draw loved ones that have transitioned on to ancestry…and that’s what I chose to call it. A bit of self-determination if you will. I happen to believe Family Values and the inherent value of a Family should not be afterthoughts as much as daily considerations. That value can fluctuate based on commitment to each other. We can tend to forget that whatever greatness that gestates within us did not begin w/ us but is the result of perfectly blended genetics and divine coordination. So yeah…I draw my ppl to remember where I come from and I draw my ppl who have transitioned to remind me where we are all going.

Gangsta Boo just passed. I’m hearing reports. Without saying too much, let me say this, Good times have to be redefined so we can make it to see better times together. Not that time is promised to any of us…now or ever. I didn’t think the last time we would see her is spazzing on Bizzy Bone on that Verzuz stage…but if these new roaring 20s haven’t taught us a damn thing it’s we don’t know much and are all expendable. A just cause…to learn more and train to fight harder.

RIP Gangsta Boo

To make it plain, I am disappointed. 

In my opinion, the Styles P interview was perhaps the most important episode of Math Hoffa’s My Expert Opinion (MEO) for a number of reasons. To give Styles a platform where he could walk through his story w/o being coerced into condensing the account to just the “fight scenes” is what you would expect a respectable interviewer operating honorably to do. Let the story breathe the air of the teller naturally and organically. This was also reflected when Styles said the Lox invented mixtapes…and wearing white tees…and Math didn’t interject. Let me be the first to say…no block…anywhere…needed instructions on how to wear a white tee…and we definitely did not have an abundance of LOX visuals to give us guidance. The corner stores that sold them…didn’t either. Still…it was a dynamic scene for that interview, was entertaining and it didn’t offset ALL OF THE REAL SHIT that he presented beyond that. From any and every direction, it was all HIS account of HIS story.

My disappointment sprouts from J Hood’s interview not being held to the same standard. He told his account of his story. Any disagreements w/ his account should be directed to him if the line of questioning did not lead him to his answers. Meaning…if the person interviewed wasn’t baited into questions detailing conflict or specific incidents…the person being interviewed is divulging that info of their own volition. This is NOT the same as Vlad asking ppl questions about criminal activity…that can only really be answered by confessing to said crimes to some degree. Please remember…Vlad also used his platform to misquote Farrakhan and when caught in the lie…refused to apologize unless Farrakhan granted HIM an interview. Oddly enough…I didn’t hear many rappers/activists (outside of Mysonne) speak on it. Meanwhile…a young man says a record label beat him out of $60k…and he’s tripping? Did the label receive a check for his family’s hardship? Was the check released to him and his Family? Who bought that chain he was draggin? These are fairly simple questions to answer and do not have to involve the host. Especially and specifically if he wasn’t intrinsic, privy to, or even present for any of the business being discussed. To keep it a clean stack w/ you…not saying what happened w/ the $60K only serves to make Hood’s story sound more legit and going at Math…basically undoes a lot of the maturity that was championed in the Styles P interview. Let’s not backpedal. Let’s push forward positively by not beefing in the Devil’s living room. Let’s not make ourselves and our brands appear contradictory to all these ppl who profit off our division and overall failure to work collectively for our own benefit, survival, and evolution.

So…I stand w/ Math on this one. There are much bigger vultures to fry…flying high…and cats got time to wrestle to death down here. Respectfully f—- all that. 

I wanted to approach this w/ care. It’s a little too important. 

Mental Health deserves more than a “check-in” and a cursory reminder to “Be Kind”. Mental Health asks that you are mindful of yourself and others and how OUR interactions affect each other. In a world where attention spans are strained, exploitation is high and morale is low…there are probably more ppl hiding behind smiles and platitudes than ever before. One foul event away from calling it a night…forever. If I sound overly familiar w/ the space…it’s b/c I occupied it for a while. 2018-2019  to be totally transparent w/ you. I started calling ppl out of the blue and told them “goodbye” but in a roundabout way. Yeah. What turned that around for me was being alone…intentionally…even in crowded rooms. There’s a difference between that and being misunderstood. I had to isolate my mentality from my surroundings to see what I was doing to myself. I know…I know. Therapy. That will do NO GOOD unless you are prepared to open up, talk, and then listen to YOU. With that said, our differences call for different strategies and plans of attack…so far be it beyond me to tell you THIS is how you do it. I ain’t Montell Jordan. I am better though. Well enough to have been fired at Xmas time w/ 2 kids, a wife, a relatively new vehicle, a house…and no real guaranteed way of paying for them…as well as none of the self-destructive thoughts that could have cost me everything years ago. My point is we have no idea what the next man or woman is balancing within their mind. We have no clue what type of stress they are managing or demons they are wrangling or trauma they are suppressing …or how this compartmentalization compounds the pressures til the pipes bust.

When I saw this Brother’s smile…and read the headline…I didn’t want to know how it happened. I didn’t want the reference. The days following brought all the reactions we have come to expect from social media. My favorite…is the brief intersection of caring about Black Men and why other ppl should…while not speaking to or with Black Men. Not everyone is guilty of this…but every time we see it…it adds to the conditioning…and may very well inch us closer to a conclusion. Brothers…the conclusion is you are needed. I need you as an example of how to be the better me…the better man…and I can’t get that from anyone other than Men…who have overcome…being overwhelmed. The seeds need us as an example of stability, strength, and wisdom in the face of foolishness (even if that is us evolving out of the immature into the upstanding and righteous)

To Twitch, only you know why you made that decision. Regardless of whom it hurt on this plane, the fact that whatever pained you no longer has access to you…gives me peace. To my Brother and Sisters still, here, I love you. We love you. We need you. Despite who acts otherwise and backs that w/ bullets and bullshit.